Healthy Eating Entry: This pickle sucks!

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Trying to eat healthy can be an experiment in yuck.

I would not wish some of the food I’ve tasted on anybody; because even I hated someone and wanted to see them go through some kind of mastication torture it would ultimately still benefit them in some way.

Point is, we all KNOW we’re supposed to eat healthy things, it is a matter of actually doing it.

In my quest to eat healthy shit, I no longer accept food through a window. I *try* to eat organic goods, but sometimes that is a big fail. One of the WORST things I’ve tried was this fruit bar thing from Trader Joe’s. Horrible!

Whenever I eat awful shit, it reminds me of this game the gays would play in college called “The Perfect Man.”

Basically, the game goes something ilke: Would you date a guy who was perfect in every way, EXCEPT______ (fill in the blank with something gross)

Back in the day, somebody asked: Would you date a guy who was perfect in every way, EXCEPT his dick smelled like pickles? To which my boyfriend replied “I love pickles!” …to which our friends refered to me as “pickles” at that point on.

Yah, this pickle sucks!

p.s. Sorry, hypothetical perfect man, if you taste or smell anything like that TJ’s bar, I would have to dump your fruity ass.

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  • WannabeVirginia W.

    This maybe your first post that I have read that made me throw up in my mouth a little. I shudder at a penis smelling like pickles. There, now I am just dry heaving.

  • Michael Rivers

    I could bring my pickle over to meet Pickles.

  • Cogent Ascending

    My roommate once mistook my organic soy shampoo in a fancy glass jar as party dip since both were bought at the same time.
    Needless to say the dip was universally loathed and I was congradulated for being daring enough to have spicy nacho cheese in my shower. I'm not sure what people thought I had spicy nacho cheese in my shower for or what if any implication the fact that it came with a label bearing giant flaming lips and one long protruding tongue had but it amuses me to imagine.
    Stick with it Westopher!
    YOU CAN DO IT!!!
    And if you can't you'll find like I did organic food you don't eat makes great compost for the garden.