I wasn’t going to write about this, but then I figured why stop now…it’s the truth and that’s where I write from.
This week’s session was extremely difficult. I was really upset and frustrated at work, which put me in a terrible head space. I went to the gym and told Seven (the trainer guy I’ve been working with) that I was wicked stressed.
He thought I needed to hit something, so he tried to get me to box with him. That…was a bad move. It was like, oh, you’re feeling down? Let’s make you feel like a complete weakling and a total fool by doing something you’re absolutely terrible at!
I know that wasn’t his intent. That’s how I felt. He thought it would be a good stress relief to hit something, but it just made me feel like a big pansy.
It also made me feel silly because we were in a glass box; a room where everyone in the entire gym could see in. It felt like everyone was watching me, which was awful and I felt awkward and stupid. It made the day go from bad to worse. The more he corrected me and instructed me to “hit harder” the more and more defeated I became.
Finally, I just gave up and asked if we could do something else. When he went to put the boxing gloves away, my eyes began to water and I had to fight back tears.
I don’t know if it was the experience itself or the fact that I quit that made me so upset. I think I was also more than a little embarrassed that I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. When I get frustrated I get more and more emotional. I don’t know how to control that.
So this week wasn’t just about physical fitness, it was mental too. But I didn’t fail entirely; because we went on to do pretty good ab workout that made my tummy hurt for days. I didn’t quit and run away. I took control and said, “This isn’t working, let’s try something else.”
By the end of the session, we were doing inverted sit ups and I said the movement was weird, because rather than kicking my legs straight up in the air, I’m used to putting them over my head. I meant in terms of gymnastics and yoga, but after feeling like such a pansy and everything, it came across like I’m a big prissy power bottom who throws his legs over his head at any given opportunity.
He busted out laughing, which made me start to laugh, then we both belly laughed for a good minute. And I felt so much better after that.
This week’s lesson: work around it.
